Girlfriends in conflict are sulking each other

Module 8.10 Forgiveness for Students

Level: PreK/Lower Elementary, Upper Elementary, Middle School, High School

Duration: ≤ 1 hour

Topics: Topic 8 - Mindfulness and Well-Being for Students

My Notes: Add/Edit Notes

Planning For It

Forgiveness helps you let go of hurt and anger. It’s not about forgetting what happened or saying that everything is okay, but about freeing yourself from the negative feelings that hold you back. When you forgive, you’re choosing to move forward and focus on the good things in life, rather than being stuck in the past. But it is not an easy thing to do.

Young people are still developing their understanding of forgiveness – from simple expressions of “it’s ok” to transgressor’s “I’m sorrys” to more sophisticated understandings of unconditional offerings of grace, on the foundation that all humans make mistakes and are worthy of respect and forgiveness.

Spark Interest

Consider this list of quotes about forgiveness. Choose one that resonates with you:

“To err is human, to forgive, divine” – Alexander Pope
“Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.” – Hannah Arendt
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” – Lewis B. Smedes
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” – Mark Twain
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi
“It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, to forgive. Forgive everybody.” – Maya Angelou
“Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.” – Joan Lunden

Reflection

What does this quote mean to you?

Can you relate this quote to an experience you have had around forgiveness?
Can you think of another quote or saying that better captures how you understand forgiveness?

Learning Objectives

In this module we will:

Understand what forgiveness is and is not and how this ability develops in young people
Recognize the benefits of forgiveness for student well-being and school success
Explore the importance of self-forgiveness for students
Explore ways to introduce and encourage forgiveness with students

Module Resources

Forgiveness for Educators and Students Professional Learning Toolkit

This toolkit includes additional resources, including classroom lessons and practices organized by developmental level, staff meeting activities, videos, podcasts, articles, and professional learning opportunities, as well as supporting materials for group facilitation on the topics of "Forgiveness for Adults" and “Forgiveness for Students”.

Individual Exploration

Although learning about forgiveness often begins in the home, the classroom is a setting where many conflicts occur, and thus is a natural context to explore the topic of forgiveness. As educators, we have the opportunity to scaffold students in their growing understanding of the value of forgiving others and letting go of anger.

What is Forgiveness?

In this first segment, learn about forgiveness, how it is defined by researchers, how it develops in young people, and how best to encourage it in the classroom. [21:43]

Reflection

How might you integrate lessons on forgiveness into your curriculum, and what activities or discussions can help students understand the importance of forgiveness in building healthy relationships?

Why is Forgiveness Important for Students?

In this next video, learn what researchers have discovered about how forgiveness can benefit students. [6:04]

Reflection

How can helping students learn to forgive benefit their emotional well-being and interpersonal relationships, and what positive changes might you observe in the classroom as a result?

How to Cultivate Forgiveness

In this final video, learn how educators can intentionally help students cultivate forgiveness. [14:51]

Reflection

How can fostering a culture of forgiveness in your classroom enhance the social and emotional well-being of your students, and what steps can you take to model and encourage forgiveness among them?

Links from Video (in order of videos)

Loving-Kindness Buddy Wishes (preK-Upper elementary) Students send kind wishes to themselves, a peer, and to people in their community. (less than 15 minutes)
Wishes for the World: A Loving-kindness Activity (preK-Upper elementary) Students “fill” an imaginary ball with friendly wishes and “send it off” to the world. (less than 15 minutes)
Introduction to Forgiveness (Upper elementary) Students develop a working definition for what forgiveness is and what it is not, and consider its relationship to justice, revenge, the role of apology, and reconciliation. (less than 1 hr)
Understanding Inherent Worth: A Path towards Forgiveness (Upper elementary) As a class, students read a book to begin a discussion on inherent worth, then think critically about how inherent worth and forgiveness are related. (less than 1 hr)
Creating Space for Forgiveness by Letting Go of Anger (Upper elementary) Students discuss the negative consequences that anger can have, identify the benefits of letting go of anger after expressing it, and brainstorm ideas for how to cope with anger. (less than 1 hr)
Learning from Courageous Forgivers (Upper elementary) Students read The Story of Ruby Bridges, an example of a “forgiveness exemplar,” and reflect on the value of being a forgiving person. (less than 1 hr)
Making an Effective Apology | Practice | Greater Good in Action (Upper elementary – Adult) A good apology involves more than saying “sorry.” (10 minutes)
Eight Essentials When Forgiving | Practice | Greater Good in Action (High school-Adult) Key principles to help you forgive and achieve peace of mind. (time variable)
Assessing Your School Climate (Adult) Teachers identify and reflect on the attitudes and behaviors that members of the school community are exposed to every day at school, potential impacts on these members, and actions they can engage in to mitigate any harm. (less than 30 minutes)
Building Collaborative Classroom Norms (Middle school – High school) Students co-create norms that foster a welcoming class environment and ensure safe discussions among peers, and develop a personal goal to help implement the norms. (less than 1 hour)
Letting Go of Anger Through Compassion (Adult) Practice thinking about a hurtful event in a different way and offering the offender some compassion to begin letting go of the anger or hurt you might hold. (less than 30 minutes)
Flow and Tell (PreK-High school) After checking in with their breath, body sensations, emotions, and thoughts, students take turns listening and sharing what they observe in the present moment. (less than 15 minutes)
Giving Thanks (PreK-Lower elementary) Students create a definition of gratitude and name things they’re grateful for. (less than 30 minutes)
What If We Didn’t Have This (Upper elementary) Students deepen their understanding of gratitude by imagining what life would be like without certain things in our classrooms or schools. (less than 30 minutes)
Seeing the Good in Others (Middle-High School) Students discuss how others have “filled their buckets”—said or done something to lift them up—and then practice filling each others’ buckets. (less than 1 hour)
Courage Creatures (PreK-Upper elementary) Students learn about courage and see themselves as courageous by drawing their own courage creature and sharing it with others. (less than 1 hour)
Courage Blooms (Upper elementary-High school) Celebrate acts of courage throughout the school year and scaffold ways in which students can choose to act with courage. (less than 30 minutes)
Drawing as a Way to Manage Emotions (PreK-Upper elementary) Students take a few minutes to draw anything they like, learning an emotion regulation strategy that can help shift unpleasant emotions to calmer, more pleasant ones. (less than 30 minutes)
Navigating Challenging Emotions During Difficult Conversations (Middle school-High school) Students will practice noticing and labeling bodily sensations and feelings (e.g., anxiety, anger, fear, shame) as they arise before, during, and after challenging conversations, and practice multiple coping strategies for navigating their emotions. (multiple sessions)
The Pendulum (Upper elementary-Middle school) Students will identify people or situations that trigger shifts in their emotions and practice talking to others about their emotional experiences. (less than 15 minutes)
Seeds of Self-Compassion (PreK-Lower elementary) Students build their self-compassion vocabulary by writing or drawing positive affirmations about themselves. (less than 1 hour)
A Moment for Me: A Self-Compassion Break for Teens (Middle school-High school) A quick self-compassion practice that can be applied throughout the day whenever difficult emotions arise. (less than 15 minutes)
How Would You Treat A Friend? (High school-Adult) A brief writing exercise that will make you aware of the difference between the way you speak to your friends and yourself during difficult times, while encouraging you to be kind to yourself. (less than 30 minutes)

8.10 Take It Deeper: Practicing Forgiveness

Use the worksheet “Practicing Forgiveness” (linked below) to help students use art to help them understand forgiveness.

Module Resources

Forgiveness for Educators and Students Professional Learning Toolkit

8.10 Take it Deeper: Practicing Forgiveness

A worksheet in which students use art to help them understand forgiveness.

Group Facilitation

Before facilitating groups, spend time in individual exploration in order to experience and embody the learning. And if you haven’t yet explored our introduction to SEL in California, make sure you explore those resources.