Module 6.3 Listening and Communicating Effectively with Families

Characteristics of Effective School-Family Communication

In the chapter “Social, Emotional, and Academic Learning: 5 Complementary Goals for School–Family Partnerships” in the Handbook on Family and Community Engagement, Mart, Dusenbury, & Weissberg outline the following “four key characteristics of effective school–family communication … as a useful framework for supporting teachers in communicating with families about social and emotional learning”:

1. Child-centered: communication that is highly individualized… focusing on a child’s specific strengths and struggles allows both teachers and family members to better support the child’s development.
2. Constructive: communication and information is meaningful and useful because it provides families with practical suggestions. Positive language that focuses on solutions helps families remain optimistic.
3. Clear and concrete: communication is most beneficial to families in supporting children’s actual learning. This is particularly important when communicating about issues of social and emotional development for which parents and families may not share a common vocabulary. Communication with families should give specific examples and clear guidelines using simple language and minimal text. Keeping this principle in mind may help minimize miscommunications resulting from differences in literacy, language, and culture.
4. Continuous: communication keeps families informed about their child’s development and in sync with classroom practices and policies. Teachers should reach out to families as early as possible to establish a collaborative tone and maintain regular contact throughout the school year.

The authors add: “It is not our intention to overburden teachers with the responsibility for constant communication with families about social and emotional development. In fact, quality of school–family interactions, rather than quantity, seems to predict student achievement and behavior.”

Reflection

• What are your communications strengths? How do you bring those strengths into your efforts to keep families informed, gather helpful information from them, and build relationships?
• What are some ways you can find the “Goldilocks zone” of communication (not too much, not too little, just right)?

Setting the Scene for Communication with Families and an Active Listening Strategy

Begin by watching this video (3:28) from the San Francisco Unified School District FCE toolkit. It features a parent discussing relationship building and communication.

Then, read this excerpt from How to (Really) Listen to Parents from ASCD which offers tips for authentically listening to and engaging with parents and caregivers:

• Make the first move: Don’t wait until parents contact you about a concern or problem. Instead, begin building a positive partnership by reaching out before school begins, or at least early in the year. Sharing brief notes about a child’s successes is a good opener.
• Offer conversation starters: Help things along by offering guiding questions. A focused question like, “What’s one thing you’d really like your child to accomplish in school this year?” is easier to answer than a broad question like, “What do you want your child to learn?” Asking, “What’s one thing your child is good at” shows that you’re thinking about a child’s strengths—and encourages families to do the same.
• Give parents a chance to think: I encourage teachers to send home a question or two for parents to consider before school meetings. Parents are less likely to feel put on the spot, and conversations are usually more productive and positive. [Also from the article: Accommodate parents’ literacy skills. How does your school reach out to parents who speak limited English or struggle with reading? Are translators available during meetings? Do you translate communications sent home and school signage into parents’ native languages?]
• Seek first to understand: It’s even more important to listen with openness and compassion in high-risk conversations and dialogues, and when conflicts occur. Instead of responding defensively, show that you are genuinely interested in hearing concerns. Leaning into these situations with curiosity and respect for parents will further strengthen trust. Statements like, “I can tell this is very important to you. I’d like to hear more about that” or “What do you think might help in this situation?” are apt to open lines of communication and make everyone feel understood.

Next, review the LAFF Don’t CRY Strategy, from Using Active Listening to Improve Collaborative With Parents. This is just one possible approach to active listening that can be adopted by educators when communicating with families. (Note: “Yakety-yak-yak” means to talk too much!). The LAFF don’t CRY mnemonic reminds teachers to use positive active listening steps.

L– Listen, empathize, and communicate respect
A– Ask questions and ask permission to take notes
F– Focus on the issues
F– Find a first step

Don’t
C– Criticize people who aren’t present
R– React hastily and promise something you can’t deliver
Y– Yakety-yak-yak

Reflection

• Thinking about the video of the SFUSD parent, what strategies does the educator use from:
  • The “How to (Really) Listen to Parents” excerpt?
  • The “LAFF don’t CRY” strategy? Other?
• What insights did you have after reviewing these materials?
• What would you add to these resources? What else do educators need to know?
• Drawing on the LAFF don’t CRY strategy, what does “respect” look like to you? What does respect look like in other cultures you’re familiar with? How do you demonstrate respect and ensure parents/family members feel they are being treated with dignity?
• What other active listening strategies do you know or use?
• Wrap up question: How can we continue to reflect on the ways our own communication style impacts our students and colleagues?

6.3 Take It Deeper: Listening through Focus Group Questions 
Let’s deepen our understanding of listening through focus groups. Here is a downloadable interactive pdf to help you.

Before facilitating groups, spend time in individual exploration in order to experience and embody the learning. And if you haven’t yet explored our introduction to SEL in California, make sure you explore those resources, too.