Behind Your Back
A student or staff member stands with their back to a small group of three to five people, each of whom take turns sharing their appreciation of that person.
Level:
Duration:
Planning For It
When You Might Use This Practice
- At the beginning of the school year to build positive relationships between staff members or students
- After small groups of students or staff members have finished a project
- When the morale of staff and/or students needs a boost
- To build a sense of trust and belonging among students or staff
Time Required
- ≤ 15 minutes
Level
- All Levels
Materials
- None
Learning Objectives
- Students and school staff will:
- Strengthen their ability to see the best in others
- Practice fostering positive relationships
Additional Supports
- Making Practices Culturally Responsive
- Adapting Practices for Students with Special Needs
- Making a Practice Trauma-Informed
- Making Classrooms and Schools Trauma-Informed and Healing-Centered
Character Strengths
- Kindness
- Gratitude
- Respect
SEL Competencies
- Social Awareness
- Relationship Skills
Mindfulness Components
- Non-judgment
How To Do It
Reflection Before the Practice
- With a friend or family member, take a few moments to share what you appreciate about the other person.
- How did hearing kind things about yourself make you feel? How do you think your students and/or staff would respond to this exercise?
Instructions
Note: This practice is best done in small groups who know each other and/or who have been working together on a project.
- Divide students or staff members into small groups of no more than five.
- One member of each group stands with their back to the rest of the group.
- Each group member takes a turn saying what they appreciate about that person. In other words, they speak kindly “behind the back” of the person.
- After each group member has had a chance to share, it is the next group member’s turn to stand with their back to the group.
- Continue until all group members have had a turn.
Extension
- Group members may also say one thing they wish for the person.
Closure
- If there is additional time, in the same small groups or as a whole group, debrief how this experience made people feel. Did anything surprise people? Did it shift how they felt about being part of the group and/or classroom/school? If they were to do this exercise again, what might they do differently next time?
Reflection After the Practice
- Do you notice a positive shift in the relationships among students or staff? Are people more open with each other? Are they kinder? Is there a stronger sense of community and trust?
The Research Behind It
Evidence That It Works
In a study of predominantly white female undergraduates, researchers found that a greater appreciation of other people served as a buffer against the psychological and physical impact of stress.
Why Does It Matter?
Encouraging students and staff to be kind to each other has a ripple effect that can spread throughout the school, improving school relationships among all stakeholders, leading to a more positive school climate.
In addition, kindness has been found to benefit students, elementary through university, by increasing their well-being and peer acceptance, both of which lead to greater academic achievement and better relationships with peers and teachers. A kind school climate has also been linked to an increase in students’ sense of belonging.
“Kindness is giving hope to those who think they’re all alone in this world.”
Are you ready to build a kinder, happier school where everyone belongs? Join Greater Good Educators! Explore the science of well-being in a supportive community of educators from around the world. Registration is now open for the 2025-2026 school year!
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