Take-Home Skill: Pleasant Events Calendar for Kids and Teens

Instructions

Overview

Compassion is about noticing suffering, including our own, and being moved to alleviate it. Amid their busy schedules, children and teens may not always notice when they are suffering–stressed, overwhelmed, or sad–or they may ignore their own suffering as they march forward to meet the demands of their lives.

One way to help children and teens develop self-compassion is by encouraging them to make time to explore their interests and engage in activities they enjoy through the use of a Pleasant Events Calendar. You can think of it as a form of self-care for kids. Here’s how to do it:

Activity

1. Reflect: Encourage your child or teen to write down a list of activities they enjoy doing. These can include hobbies, things they do by themselves, or things they do with friends and/or family.
2. Schedule: Help your child or teen identify time slots on the calendar when they can do one or two of the activities.
3. Track: Place the calendar in a visible location and help your children track the activities by adding a sticker or checkmark when they are completed.

Source

Eve M. Adams., Ph.D., New Mexico State University

Karen Bluth, Ph.D., University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

Evidence That It Works

Middle schoolers participated in an eight-session mindfulness course based on a stress reduction workbook for teens; as part of the course, they created a Pleasant Events Calendar. Middle schoolers had greater self-compassion and mindfulness and felt less stress and depression after they completed the course compared to before.

Why Does It Matter?

Children and teens experience stress that can feel overwhelming at times. With so many responsibilities on their plates, they may struggle to take care of themselves. Self-compassion, or treating ourselves kindly, provides an opportunity for us to pause, take stock of what we need, and respond with care. And this activity encourages children and teens to proactively integrate more pleasant and enjoyable activities into their weekly schedules.

Ultimately, being self-compassionate may allow children and teens to be more open to receiving and giving care to others. The practice of taking care of and being kind to themselves can help them reduce stress and increase feelings of curiosity and gratitude. And people who grow up into self-compassionate adults have stronger relationships with their partners and may be more resilient when confronting stressors like a serious illness.