Cool Kid: An SEL Kernels Practice for Third Grade

Note: Click here to download and print a card version of this practice that can be added to the other SEL Kernels practices to make an easy-to-use hand-held collection. See the Brain Games pack for additional activities.

The Big Idea

• Everyone gets a chance to be the Cool Kid. When you are the Cool Kid, we will all look for things you do well and gather compliments to share at the end of the day/week. When we notice and share each others’ positive actions and attributes, then we build each other up and create a stronger classroom community.

Instructions

• Randomly select a Cool Kid at the start of each day (e.g., pull names from a bag). Once everyone has had a chance to be Cool Kid, select a Cool Kid once a week.
• Let the class know who the Cool Kid is for the day/week and say The Big Idea. Have a way to identify who the Cool Kid is (e.g., button, cape, hat). You may choose special jobs or privileges for the Cool Kid (e.g., door holder, line leader, etc.).
• Explain that all day/throughout the week, everyone will look for compliments to give the Cool Kid (e.g., helping, following directions, being kind, being a good friend). Even minor things are worth noticing and calling out.
• Make a space in the room where you can gather or post compliments throughout the day/week. At the end of the day/week, share compliments out loud. Choose the three most meaningful to put on the certificate. Then, send the certificate home with the Cool Kid.

Must do

• Has to be random and all children must be Cool Kid the same number of times. Should not be contingent on behavior, grades, or anything else. Some kids don’t receive much positive affirmation, and this is about affirming the value or worth of every child.

Can adapt

• How you gather, post, and celebrate compliments. When and how you celebrate.

After the activity, debrief

• Cool Kid—How did it feel to receive compliments? What did you notice? What did your peers notice that you might not have realized about yourself?
• Everyone else—How did it feel to give compliments to the Cool Kid? What did you pay attention to in order to compliment the Cool Kid? When are some other times we can say encouraging words to each other? At home? At school? On the playground? Can you think of a specific compliment someone gave to you that made you feel especially good? Why did it make you feel this way?

Tips for success

• Allow or encourage students to give compliments in home languages.
• For those who might need extra time, give them more time to think of compliments and support them in noticing compliments as needed.
• Allow students to be celebrated as a class or in private depending on their level of comfort.

Over the year

• Third grade is a time to begin exploring how complimenting and affirming others can impact feelings and behavior—for the compliment giver as well as the receiver.
• Model giving compliments to students in the class. Notice and call out often when students are showing positive behavior, as a way to affirm all students and to show what compliments look, sound, and feel like. Give each child at least one specific compliment per day.
• As students become familiar with the process of compliment giving, challenge them to give more meaningful compliments to each other (e.g., “I appreciate that you invite me to play at recess” vs. “I like your t-shirt”). Explain that Cool Kid is about celebrating who you are, not what you have. Students can practice this in small groups, giving compliments to each person in their group.
• Throughout the year, create a space in the classroom where students can share compliments and praise for each other. For example, a bulletin board, stack of post-its, a white board, or a compliment box. Invite students to journal about the compliments they receive from others, and to write about how it makes them feel when they give or receive meaningful compliments.

Source

This practice is part of the SEL Kernels project developed by the EASEL Lab at Harvard University.

Evidence That It Works

Children who score higher on measures of social competency (e.g., “is helpful to others,” “shares materials,” “resolves peer problems on own,” etc.) are more likely to graduate from college, secure a full-time job, and have better mental health. They are also less likely to have a criminal record, receive public assistance, and/or have substance abuse problems.

Why Does It Matter?

Interpersonal skills, or the ability to interact with others effectively, are key to student learning and success. Social and interpersonal skills support children and youth to accurately interpret other people’s behavior, effectively navigate social situations, and interact positively with peers and adults.

Children must be able to use these social/interpersonal processes effectively in order to work collaboratively, solve social problems, and coexist peacefully with others. These skills help children build strong relationships with others, which are essential to success and happiness in life.

For example, children who develop warm, positive relationships with their teachers are more excited about learning, more positive about coming to school, more self confident, and achieve more in the classroom. On the contrary, any child with severely limited peer involvement is at considerable risk for significant adverse developmental consequences.